


Out of Breath

by AmiLu



Series: Janelle Monáe Lyrics Prompt Table [8]
Category: Gentleman Jack (TV)
Genre: (Just a little bit), F/F, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-02 18:55:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21166418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmiLu/pseuds/AmiLu
Summary: Everything in her screamsyeswith a loudness she’s unaccustomed to, even within her own mind. It scares her a bit, honestly, how much she wants this when she knows, she knows sheshouldn’t.





	Out of Breath

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: "Am I a sinner with my skirt on the ground?" (femslashficlets)

Ann doesn’t know what to think, what to say. Miss Lister is interesting, funny, intelligent, and so, so alluring sometimes she makes it difficult for Ann to hold a coherent thought. Still, being told that _she_—shy, nervous,_ boring _little Ann—makes the confident miss Lister want to...to _kiss_ her is, well, it’s unexpected. It’s bewildering, in a sense, because Ann hadn’t even considered the possibility, no, though now that’s on the table it is rather difficult to ignore.

Everything in her screams _yes_ with a loudness she’s unaccustomed to, even within her own mind. It scares her a bit, honestly, how much she wants this when she knows, she _knows_ she shouldn’t.

(“Do you think is wrong?” miss Lister asks, suddenly vulnerable and embarrassed in a way Ann’s never seen before. She doesn’t like it, it doesn’t suit the older, dignified woman. But, at the same time, it’s something...raw, new. A painfully honest emotion on her face and her voice and her demeanor, and Ann feels like she’s seeing something precious, something private that most people won’t ever get to see, and she can admit, if only to herself, that it makes her feel incredibly powerful and incredibly awed.)

She doesn’t. She… she doesn’t. Does she? The little voice in the back of her mind that sounds a little bit like her mother and a lot like her aunt tells her she should. She should be scandalized and horrified and disgusted, and maybe a little part of her _wants_ to be, if only to please that voice.

But she isn’t, not at all. And that makes her slightly uncomfortable.

In the end, she pulls up all her determination and strength, and completely shuts the little voice out.

She lets miss Lister kiss her, and oh, Lord—

They kiss, and they kiss, and miss Lister is so gentle. So passionate, so sensual. Ann’s never done anything like this, and she could never have imagined it could feel so good. Ann could kiss miss Lister forever and not get tired. It feels just so _good._

But. Touching. Touching starts getting more intimate, and the doubts and fears start coming out of the tightly closed door in her mind behind which Ann had thrown them.

It doesn’t hurt, and it doesn’t feel bad, not per se, but…but it’s awkward, somehow; it makes her twitchy and unsure and she has to stop it before it actually gets somewhere. She’s so embarrassed, and miss Lister looks so disappointed though she says it’s fine, and then she’s gone and Ann—

Ann is so _afraid_ that she’s not going to come back.

(She does. She does, and Ann stops crying and they kiss, and Ann doesn’t care anymore if what they do can be considered a sin or not, because she is so in love with miss Lister that she can’t bear to lose her.)

**Author's Note:**

> I just watched episode 3 and I have _feels_, people. Oh my goodness.__
> 
> (Edit: changed the rating to M but I'm not sure?? Sorry *sweats* I'm bad at this.)


End file.
